Understand Your Job The Problem: You feel like you're constantly saying no to your child.
The Solution: "Saying no 100 times a day is part of being a parent," says Tom Phelan, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist and author of 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12. "Once you accept that, you won't feel as if you're doing something wrong and guilt won't be a factor." However, you can use other methods of discipline besides the big N-O. For example, if your child asks to watch TV, you can answer with "Sure -- after you've picked up your toys." Here, you're actually saying yes to the request, but with a stipulation.
Give Yourself a Time-Out The Problem: You sometimes start yelling when the kids misbehave, then feel awful about it afterward. The Solution: It can be easy to lose your patience with your kids, but once you start screaming and yelling, you're taking the situation to a whole new level and have sent the message you're no longer in control. "It's impossible to discipline effectively when you're angry or stressed out," says Rex Forehand, Ph.D., a child behavior expert and coauthor of Parenting the Strong-Willed Child. Instead, he suggests implementing the four Rs. "You need to Recognize that you've lost patience, and Remove yourself from the situation," Dr. Forehand says. "Once you've cooled down a bit, you can then Review the situation and Respond to it."
Joe Polillio5 of 10Ignore Your Child's Bad Behavior The Problem: Your child has tantrums in the supermarket, toy store, etc. -- and nothing you do can make it better.
The Solution: First, let's make one thing clear: Every parent has had to handle a child's public tantrum. Still, it's tough to remember that when it feels as if all eyes are on you. The worst thing to do is engage a child in the middle of a meltdown. Yelling or attempting to compromise or reason with her will only make the tantrum worse and increase your stress levels. The best way to tackle a tantrum is to ignore it, Dr. Leman says. "When your child is throwing a tantrum, the purpose is to get attention and to exert authority over you. And if throwing tantrums has worked in the past, your child will continue to throw them in the future." Dr. Leman's suggestion is to step over the child, totally ignore the behavior, and move on with whatever else you were doing. Nine times out of 10, your child will get up and follow you. If you're in public, don't be so worried about what other people will think -- this is about nipping this bad behavior in the bud.
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